A WEEKLY WORD FROM THE REV. Three in a row! This week we praise the Lord for the overthrow of one of the most dangerous and evil men in the world, the third front of the infamous 'triangle of evil'. Bin Laden is run to ground, Saddam is deposed, and now Canon Jeffrey John, the 'Satan of Southwark', has been cast out. This notorious villain, responsible for destroying the lives of people without number, quite literally, has been brought to justice in the war against error. No longer will he terrorise Christendom with his limped-wristed wafer delivery, subjecting innocent children to confirmation and threatening to redecorate St Mary's. His accession would have meant a devastating explosion of filth throughout the church - the so-called 'dirty bomb'. With his secret stash of bread and wine, he could have unleashed weapons of Mass devotion on an unsuspecting populace within 45 minutes of their stepping into church. Now don't get me wrong. I don't condemn homosexuals, only homosexuality. And I don't condemn that either. I've read all about it and I realise that these people can't help the way they are, but only what they do. I love the sinner (though not in that way, obviously) and hate the sin. And that's precisely why we can't let this dangerous celibate pollute the church with gay disease. Imagine him, thinking gay thoughts as he consecrates the elements, turning up for church in a frock, and secretly replacing the incense with queer powder. I realise he and his kind argue that the Bible does not actually condemn gay relationships. Well they would, wouldn't they? We must withstand all their attempts to unsex the document. As a spokesperson for Straight Christians Against Benders, I can assure you that what these people get up to really is disgusting, an abomination before both the Lord and me. You can find out more details in my full colour tract Filth Uncovered! Unbiblical Use of Bottoms. Gay "Christians" on the march Let us be thankful that he has been got rid of with remarkably little collateral damage except to his own life and career. For did not our Lord say, "It is expedient that one man should be sacrificed for the sake of the people"? Now with his evil machinations foiled, all Christians can join together in blessed unity and devote our energies to issues like war, starvation, the environment, the abolition of poverty and corporate exploitation - which are also important in their own way - just as soon as we've tackled the urgent threat posed by members of the clergy cross-dressing, over-eating, smoking, swearing and working on Sundays. Praise the Lord! Now we can sleep safe in our beds, knowing he's not going to climb in. Top | Past Harks | Rev. Gerald Home | SOF Home © Rev. Gerald Ambulance 2003